Wednesday, July 20, 2016


Fluctuation


The first step is Self realization.

Knowing beyond doubt that what I am is
unknowable
effortless
everpresent
untouched by appearances
immediate
never not here
not in the stream of time.

And knowing this experiential
so rock solid
that the idea that it can be lost 
is alien and does not enter.
  
Knowing this is so intrinsically that no matter
what happens, no matter what appears,
one knows this can never be lost.


No matter what thoughts, emotions or states,
no matter what incidents, accidents or disasters. 

And not because I repeat this to myself
or dig up a memory of an awakening experience from the past.

As long as there is fluctuation, 
( the i ve got it, i lost it phase )
as long as This is not established beyond doubt
the penny has not completely dropped,
and there is still some way to go.

A process, a ripening, a need for more clarity,
an unveiling of assumptions,
something still obscuring the clear perception,
a seeing through of beliefs.

However paradoxical this may sound
to the conceptually correct nd mind.

And after that..?
Who will tell? 
There is never an end station....





 

Sunday, July 10, 2016


Sunsets and Tidal waves


No separation is
experiencing without boundaries.
Differences exist are seen and noticed.
But everything is still felt as not separate from 
what I am.
Much in the same way an arm is different from
the pancreas or the left big toe, but all is still viewed and experienced as part of the body.

The whole of our experience at every moment.
It does not exclude anything.

Questions coming from an image of how enlightenment looks like frequently come up e.g. to ask if anger or other strong emotions still arises.

The image or expectation of what enlightenment or no separation looks like is never how it is.

It is the whole of our experience.
With everything that appears. 

In my experience right now, in the relaxation that follows when the primary contraction of erroneously experiencing ourselves separate from existence has fallen away, deeper and ever deeper layers of contracted energies are able to come out of hiding.
Coming up after years or lifetimes.
Traumas which were too painful then are coming up 
to be felt and experienced now.

Sunsets and killer whales
Baby seals and rabid dogs
Honeymoon and tidal waves
Daisies and dementia

All that comes up.
In the immediacy.


Tuesday, June 28, 2016


Being present


There is no distance to This
and what we are.

This does not fit any framework 
and does not care which words are used
as words cannot catch It.

It is simply the direct perception,
the immediacy,
the knowing, seeing, touching, perceiving
of all that appears.

And that means all,
that means also all of the hangups,
contractions,
irritations.

It means simply This.
Already the case.
Already existence in all its glory 
and ordinariness.

The amazing sunset,
the beautiful smile,
and the dirty toilet,
or being squeezed in the bus 
during rush-hour on the way home.

The amazing insights and revelations
and the surging up of emotional turmoil
as it resurfaces in the relaxation of this
new found freedom.

Can we be present to it all?

Can we be relaxed enough to take these 
sometimes agonizing feelings and let them play out?
Simply feel them and let them tell their story?

Or do we need to nullify them ( again ).
Distance ourselves and hide them 
behind a curtain of lofty concepts?

Create a duality where none exists?

Do we dare to simply be present
without creating another story?

The seeing, feeling, perceiving, experiencing
of all that appears.

 
 


 

Thursday, June 23, 2016